Persuasive writing is a writing form that is very useful as it can applied to many different contexts. Tristan has worked hard to develop his ideas for this piece of work. Well done Tristan.
Let’s Make Tautoro Exciting!
By Tristan
Do you know what it’s like when your bored? I think that we should have more things to play with at Tautoro School so that everyone doesn’t get bored, plus everyone will get something to play with. For example I see people walking around doing nothing but if they had like a ball or a skipping rope or maybe a bike or something, something that will make the kids happy then it will be exciting.
One way we should make this school more exciting is by putting a bike track around the perimeter of the school. I think we should put lumps down with the track so that they can bring their bikes here to ride and have fun. It will be remarkable to see everyone running around and riding their bikes around the perimeter. We can bring bikes so everyone stays happy and healthy. Isn’t this what everyone wants?
Another way we can make this school exciting is having free time.What I think should happen is after we have finished our work then we can have free time. So we are not doing work all day long, at least for one hour we could have a little break off. Who thinks that’s fair? Yes or no. Because usually students get bored of doing work all day and they want a break.
It is really important for the students to make sure that they are playing and learning should be fun for all of the kids.
Wouldn’t it be tremendous if we had more options at school. That is why we need to learn more subjects so we won’t get bored. I think that is a good thing because if someone is doing the same thing all over again then that is boring, do you think that if you did the same thing all the time that life will get boring? For example, we could do science, Art, Drama they are some exciting things that we can do.
In summary, I think we should have more things to play with at Tautoro School. I think this because lots of people get bored of doing nothing that’s why if the teachers make the kids do different things then know one will get bored because they are doing something different and exciting.
Kia ora Im Jasmine I am a year 5 at GIlberthorpe School.
ReplyDeleteI loved reading the article it made me want to be you because it is so good and it is really excitig. Keep up the good writing and I will be back to cheek out more writing.
I wish you lots of luck well done.
Kia ora I'm Navneet from Owairaka District School,I really like what you did in the cross country even we have cross country in this school. I like doing cross country as well because I'm a sporty person and I'd be really keen for you to visit my blog (odsnavneets.blogspot.co.nz
ReplyDeleteBlog u later
Navneet
Kia ora.
ReplyDeleteI am impressed with your persuasive writing about how to make your school a more exciting place for students. We are also looking at this for our school and we are planning on putting a bike track in. I am looking forward to that. It is a good idea to have things so kids don't get bored or they might start mucking around. I am interested to know what you guys do during break times. Good luck with getting some more things to do.
Hi I really liked your singing it was really fun I had a great time watching, it was funny. By Charlie at Ohaeawai School.
ReplyDeleteHi my name is Jack from Owairaka District School. I really like this piece of work! I really like your examples on how to make your school better as well.
ReplyDeleteBlog ya later!
Hi Tristan, I really enjoyed your story because of the big and powerful words that you used in your story. I really liked the way that you explained why you thought this and I really liked the descriptive words that you have used in your story. Another thing that I enjoyed in your story was that you hooked me in and I hadn't even finished the introduction. I agree with you and I think that this is an amazing idea. You really persuaded me and I like it. Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteFrom Gerry
Hi Tristan, my name is Amelia, I'm a year 6 at Gilberthorpe School. I agree with you. If you want to see your school have more fun then yes, it would be fun for the kids!
ReplyDeleteNice and powerful words you have chosen to use in your story. It makes it even more persuasive with those words.
How come you want a bike track for your school?
Hello, I am Hannah.O from Gilberthorpe School, I am a year 6.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy the way you wrote this as it sounds like you wrote this with joy.
About the bike track, don't you think that is a bit dangerous, because what if one person fell down while another person was just about to go? Wouldn't it hurt?
Blog You Later.
Hi I am Olivia from ODS. Wow, your writing is very persuasive.
ReplyDeleteI like the way you gave the readers different options to look at and how to make your school more fun. The bike track idea sounds interesting. How big is your school? Would it take long to ride around the whole thing?